funnies
Posted: Thu May 03, 2007 11:41 pm
Two 90-year-old women, Rose and Barb, had been friends all
of their lives. When it was clear that Rose was dying, Barb
visited her every day. One day Barb said, "Rose, we both loved
playing women's softball all our lives, and we played in all through High School. Please do me one favor: when you get to Heaven, somehow you
must let me know if there's women's softball there."
Rose looked up at Barb from her deathbed, "Barb, you've been my
best friend for many years. If it's at all possible, I'll do this favor
for you." Shortly after that, Rose passed on.
At midnight a couple of nights later, Barb was awakened from a
sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling
out to her, "Barb, Barb."
"Who is it?" asked Barb, sitting up suddenly. "Who is it?"
"Barb -- it's me, Rose."
"You're not Rose. Rose just died."
"I'm telling you, it's me, Rose," insisted the voice.
"Rose! Where are you?"
"In Heaven," replied Rose. "I have some really good news and
a little bad news."
"Tell me the good news first," said Barb.
"The good news," Rose said, "is that there's Softball in Heaven.
Better yet, all of our old buddies who died before us are here, too.
Better than that, we're all young again. Better still, it's always springtime,
and it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play softball all
we want, and we never get tired."
"That's fantastic," said Barb.. "It's beyond my wildest dreams!
So what's the bad news?"
"You're pitching Tuesday."
okay heres the other one
AHHHH….. The young and enthusiastic!
Here's a truly heartwarming story about the bond formed between a little
5-year-old girl and some construction workers that will make you believe
that we all can make a difference when we give a child the gift of our
time.
A young family moved into a house, next to a vacant lot. One day, a
construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot.
The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all
the Activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the
workers.
Eventually the construction crew, all of them "gems-in-the-rough, "more or
less, adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let
her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her
little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important. At the end
of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing
ten dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested
that she take her ten dollars "pay" she'd received to the bank the next
day to start a savings account.
When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally
impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay
check at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last
week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to
us." "Oh my goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working
on the house again this week, too?" The little girl replied, "I will, if
those assholes at Home Depot ever deliver the fuckin' sheet rock..."
Kind of brings a tear to the eye - doesn't it?
of their lives. When it was clear that Rose was dying, Barb
visited her every day. One day Barb said, "Rose, we both loved
playing women's softball all our lives, and we played in all through High School. Please do me one favor: when you get to Heaven, somehow you
must let me know if there's women's softball there."
Rose looked up at Barb from her deathbed, "Barb, you've been my
best friend for many years. If it's at all possible, I'll do this favor
for you." Shortly after that, Rose passed on.
At midnight a couple of nights later, Barb was awakened from a
sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling
out to her, "Barb, Barb."
"Who is it?" asked Barb, sitting up suddenly. "Who is it?"
"Barb -- it's me, Rose."
"You're not Rose. Rose just died."
"I'm telling you, it's me, Rose," insisted the voice.
"Rose! Where are you?"
"In Heaven," replied Rose. "I have some really good news and
a little bad news."
"Tell me the good news first," said Barb.
"The good news," Rose said, "is that there's Softball in Heaven.
Better yet, all of our old buddies who died before us are here, too.
Better than that, we're all young again. Better still, it's always springtime,
and it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play softball all
we want, and we never get tired."
"That's fantastic," said Barb.. "It's beyond my wildest dreams!
So what's the bad news?"
"You're pitching Tuesday."
okay heres the other one
AHHHH….. The young and enthusiastic!
Here's a truly heartwarming story about the bond formed between a little
5-year-old girl and some construction workers that will make you believe
that we all can make a difference when we give a child the gift of our
time.
A young family moved into a house, next to a vacant lot. One day, a
construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot.
The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all
the Activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the
workers.
Eventually the construction crew, all of them "gems-in-the-rough, "more or
less, adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let
her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her
little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important. At the end
of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing
ten dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested
that she take her ten dollars "pay" she'd received to the bank the next
day to start a savings account.
When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally
impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay
check at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last
week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to
us." "Oh my goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working
on the house again this week, too?" The little girl replied, "I will, if
those assholes at Home Depot ever deliver the fuckin' sheet rock..."
Kind of brings a tear to the eye - doesn't it?
