Hello my little pets

[Mel]

Hi Aunty Cath

[ijuschill]

Hi Aunty Cath, welcome to the forum

[Glen]

Welcome Aunty Cath,

Watch out for a couple of blokes called Ron and Eric. One look at you and they'll be chasing you round in their Zimmer frames.

[fireyrob]

So my loveys. If you have any burning questions that a prescription cream cannot fix, just drop me a line and I'm happy to help, my pets.

Welcome to the forum Aunty Cath I do have a burning sensation in a place best not described online, no matter how much cream I rub into it it just wont go away! What should I do?

[robracer]

I do have a burning sensation in a place best not described online, no matter how much cream I rub into it it just wont go away!

You too must be something in the water

[Strika]

dear Auntie Cath. I really need your help. I'm almost exhausted and am nned of a solution. My new girlfriend is as horny as a goat. SHe wants it all the time. Almost from the moment we see each other, till the moment we part, it's constant sex. Not that I'm complaining, as the sex is actually not just in abundant qunatities, it's also insanely sexy, erotic, fulfilling, kinky, loving, rough, unusual, earth shattering and a few more I dare not mention. It happens in the hallway, the kitchen, the bathroom, the back yard, the front yard, in public, in the car, at parties, in the water and just about everywhere else. The variety of positions and locations is almost staggering. Once again not that, I'm complaining. When she is horny, she will do anything I ask!! And I mean ANYTHING! It's just fantastic. So, my question to you Aunti Cath, is how do I stop my friends from being so jealous?

[Aunty Cath]

woops .... wrong room ...

That's ok dearie. Happens to us all once we get past a certain age and qualify for cheaper insurance...
Just have a cuppa and a lie down, my sweet little hocakes

[Aunty Cath]

Hi Aunty Cath

Hello Mel. What a lovely name. And you sound like a lovely girl. And look at that avatar! Lovely, lovely, lovely. I'm sure you always cross your ankles when seated, like a lady should. I'm sensing there's a shy and obedient lady hiding under that helmet, just waiting to sedately and delicately reveal herself. Some day, my sweet little angel, you'll find a man who will take care of you and give you armfuls of precious, precious children.

Oh dear. Oh dear. I appear to have completely skipped my lunchtime medications. Dearie me.
Lovely to meet you anyway, you spunky little Mellalicious!

Hi Aunty Cath, welcome to the forum

Why hello little bunnykins! Oh dear, now how do I say your name? Lordy, it's a tongue twister. I'm thinking you must be a Tenderheart Bear

carebear.jpg (12.78 KiB) Viewed 3756 times

Thank you for the lovely warm welcome. I see in your picture, you have most excellent taste in motorcycles, so I feel comforted that your taste in motorcycle forums will be as refined and I've come to a polite and mature place.
Just remember little fuzzywumpkins: A watched pot never boils

[Aunty Cath]

Welcome Aunty Cath,

Watch out for a couple of blokes called Ron and Eric. One look at you and they'll be chasing you round in their Zimmer frames.

Dearie me, there's a lot of you in here, isn't there!
Hello, Sir Glen. For a sir you must be with your stately picture and graceful name. I am most happy to be meeting you, my dear laddie.

And thank you for your thoughtful warning. I'm sure the two of them are no match for my shapely calves and sprightly ankles. There's still plenty of spirit left in this old girl, and if they are the ungentlemanly type, well, I'll show them a thing or two with their Zimmer frames! If they're gentlemanly though... well, who knows what might happen? Sometimes there's not enough port left in the bottle to warm these old bones alone.
Best wishes be upon you, Sir Glen. I can tell a man like yourself gets tucked in very well of an evening, so I hope you count your blessings in that department, young man!

[ijuschill]

Wow a tenderheart bear eh! Well thanks Aunty Cath. Such a sweet lady

I forgot to ask do you bake any sort of cakes, I like a nice cheesecake if you need any taste testers I can help you out with that.

[Aunty Cath]

Welcome to the forum Aunty Cath I do have a burning sensation in a place best not described online, no matter how much cream I rub into it it just wont go away! What should I do?

Hello, my combustible Robert. I'm glad to make your acquaintance.
I see by your picture that you believe that a family who races together, stays together. Good for you, young man. Leaving your sweet little wifey at home while you gallivant around having fun is so 19th century. I love to see a modern man, juggling fun and family successfully!
It's a little hard to see, and lord knows, my eyes aren't what they used to be, but how does your family grow? Is that two daughters and a toddler on the back of your race bike there dearie? Or is it two wives and a child? What an action-packed life you lead, laddie.
And judging by your question, you are just an open book aren't you, my little rambunctious rabbit? No hiding behind bushels for you.
Well, let me see. You've been rubbing plenty of cream in yourself, have you? And it's not going away? Well I think, since you belong to a close family, you might want to enlist your lovely and devoted wife to assist you in that. I'm sure she's gentle and patient, and will rub for as long as it takes to make you feel better. Ask her to try that for a week, and let me know if you still have problems. I may have something else up my sleeve that will fix you in a jiffy, but I'd prefer you try a less invasive option first, my little shamrock. And don't forget: A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

You too must be something in the water

Oh dearie me. Another one. And another Robert who races. Lordy, lordy, what *is* the world coming to?
Hello, you little ruffian. I'm happy to meet you.
Well let me see. I'm guessing from your post count, perhaps you fly solo more often than not, and therefore the above advice may not help you too much. Hmmmm. How long have you been rubbing the cream for? If you've been rubbing the cream for years, my lad, you must be chafed. May I suggest a coating of honey and a short sunbathing session. Do not fall asleep in the sun, and keep a sharp eye out for bullants, you little terror. If that doesn't work, wrap it in vinyl for a week - I'm sure you can make the correct size vinyl, however make sure you measure twice and cut once. And don't confuse the measuring and the cutting!
Please let me know how you get on, dear dear boy, as I promise to help you battle this problem until it's resolved (though it will be from afar). Take care, sweet frumplemuffin and never fear - honey has amazing antibacterial properties

[Aunty Cath]

dear Auntie Cath. I really need your help. I'm almost exhausted and am nned of a solution. My new girlfriend is as horny as a goat. SHe wants it all the time. Almost from the moment we see each other, till the moment we part, it's constant sex. Not that I'm complaining, as the sex is actually not just in abundant qunatities, it's also insanely sexy, erotic, fulfilling, kinky, loving, rough, unusual, earth shattering and a few more I dare not mention. It happens in the hallway, the kitchen, the bathroom, the back yard, the front yard, in public, in the car, at parties, in the water and just about everywhere else. The variety of positions and locations is almost staggering. Once again not that, I'm complaining. When she is horny, she will do anything I ask!! And I mean ANYTHING! It's just fantastic. So, my question to you Aunti Cath, is how do I stop my friends from being so jealous?

Well, aren't you just a fiery little scamp! Oh my wordy, lordy, yes.
Ah, it does the old heart good to have a chuckle. Firstly, let me say hello to you and what a wonderful name you have!

I understand your dilemma, dear little whippersnapper. Well, it's a real pickle you've got yourself into there, dearie. I can see by that picture that what we're facing here is some serious overcompensation issues. You know the answer, my little twitchy-nosed mouse. Look shallow within yourself and you know exactly how to stop your patient friends from succumbing to jealousy. Next time you meet with your friends, perhaps down at the pub or somewhere very male-bonding-like, bring your cute little pecker out and show it to them. Tell them the cute, little names your girlfriend has given it. Let them see it cast barely a 1 o'clock shadow. They will understand why your poor dear girlfriend is pathologically unsatisfied and will stop being jealous, I promise you.

All the best dearest little palm frond, and remember: Cleanliness is next to godliness

[seiko1]

I do have a burning sensation in a place best not described online, no matter how much cream I rub into it it just wont go away!

You too must be something in the water

Somebody came good with the red hot poker threat

[Nelso]

Dear Aunty Cath,

Where can I meet a girl like Strika's?

That is all.

[Strika]

dear Auntie Cath. I really need your help. I'm almost exhausted and am nned of a solution. My new girlfriend is as horny as a goat. SHe wants it all the time. Almost from the moment we see each other, till the moment we part, it's constant sex. Not that I'm complaining, as the sex is actually not just in abundant qunatities, it's also insanely sexy, erotic, fulfilling, kinky, loving, rough, unusual, earth shattering and a few more I dare not mention. It happens in the hallway, the kitchen, the bathroom, the back yard, the front yard, in public, in the car, at parties, in the water and just about everywhere else. The variety of positions and locations is almost staggering. Once again not that, I'm complaining. When she is horny, she will do anything I ask!! And I mean ANYTHING! It's just fantastic. So, my question to you Aunti Cath, is how do I stop my friends from being so jealous?

Well, aren't you just a fiery little scamp! Oh my wordy, lordy, yes.
Ah, it does the old heart good to have a chuckle. Firstly, let me say hello to you and what a wonderful name you have!

I understand your dilemma, dear little whippersnapper. Well, it's a real pickle you've got yourself into there, dearie. I can see by that picture that what we're facing here is some serious overcompensation issues. You know the answer, my little twitchy-nosed mouse. Look shallow within yourself and you know exactly how to stop your patient friends from succumbing to jealousy. Next time you meet with your friends, perhaps down at the pub or somewhere very male-bonding-like, bring your cute little pecker out and show it to them. Tell them the cute, little names your girlfriend has given it. Let them see it cast barely a 1 o'clock shadow. They will understand why your poor dear girlfriend is pathologically unsatisfied and will stop being jealous, I promise you.

All the best dearest little palm frond, and remember: Cleanliness is next to godliness

Thanks for that Auntie Cath, but you really have missed the point!! It's not the miniscule size of my penis (which I agree, is certainly small) which causes the issues, it's the jealousy of all the other guys, knowing that I have a hot girlfriend who goes off like a frog in a sock! So, apart from getting rid of the girlfriend, which is just not an option at all, what should I do?? After all, I'm getting a really fun and fullfilling relationship, with copious amounts of insanely erotic and kinky sex, so that part is not an issue, it's just dealing with the fallout from those who are jealous. Well, you might say, why don;t I just shut up! But, you know how it is, you've just had sex, you run down to the pub...and all your mates keep asking till you tell them!!! So, what do you think should be the solution? Should I get my mates girlfriends and wives into a threesome with her??? Just so they can then tell their husbands/boyfriends that it's true??? What to do????