Japanese farmers reckon they’re doing it tough?
BULLSHIT! I seen one farm on TV and the prick had two huge boats and about 20 cars in his front yard!
Was shagging this girl over her kitchen table when we heard the front door open. She said, “It’s my husband! Quick, try the back door!” Thinking back, I really should have legged it – but you don’t get offers like that every day.
God visits a man and tells him he must give up smoking, drinking and sex if he wants to get into Heaven. The man says he’ll try.
God visits him a week later to see how he’s getting on.
“Not bad” says the man, “I’ve given up drinking and smoking, but when the wife bent over the freezer, I had to f$£k her up the arse.”
“We don’t like that sort of thing in Heaven” said God.
The man replied, “They’re not to fucking happy about it in Retravision either!
What’s the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family.
Why are aspirins white? Because they work.
I saw a fortune teller the other day. She told me I would come into some money.
Last night I rooted a bird called Penny – spooky or what?
The missus asked me, “When you’re on a boys only trip away, do you think about me?”
Apparently “Only to stop myself coming too quickly” wasn’t the right answer.
Aussie (redneck) Humour
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seiko1
- Apprentice Post Whore :-)
- Posts: 7643
- Joined: Wed Jan 14, 2009 8:36 pm
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- State: Victoria
- Location: Geelong
Aussie (redneck) Humour
Policy - Find something simple.....and Complicate it!
