Woolies doctor

[Kermit]

One day, in line at the tuck shop, Joe says to Shane,

"My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor."
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Shane replies.
"There's a diagnostic computer down at Woolies. Just give it a urine
sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it.
It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars. A lot cheaper than a
doctor." So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Woolies.

He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the
urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy
activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping at Woolies."


That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was,
Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.
He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples
from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample from himself for good measure.
Joe hurries back to Woolies, eager to check the results.
He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the
results.

The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard.
Get a water softener. (Aisle 4)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle
7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a solicitor.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get
better.

Thank you for shopping at Woolies.

[laidback]

Hehehe

[kawa 06]